As my life slowly moves away from having any meaning if it doesn’t involve a pair of trainers and a review of my mileage splits, I thought I’d give myself a health check. Do I have a problem? Is my hobby becoming a little too invasive?
Here are some of my more
idiosyncratic idiotic thoughts/decisions of the last year.
- There is no weather on earth which can stop me from training, apart maybe from severe flooding. Actually, screw that, that’d be brilliant resistance training. “Great time to check out how waterproof my new shoes truly are too! Best day ever!”
- I have now bought the same pair of shoes 7 times in the last 18 months (and another pair 4 times). “I’ll never forget my first love”
- My reaction to breaking a finger playing basketball is “no, it’s cool, honestly, I’m glad to be off the court now so I can’t injure my legs.” not “ F#ck.”
- My house is becoming a paradise for cats thanks to the sheer volume of shoe boxes
gracinglittering the floor. “Miaow”
- My first thoughts are always “ooo, I wonder if I could run there to get extra mileage” if someone invites me to go to a party, meet them at the train station, go out for dinner, go watch sport, go to a race… “This smell? Oh yeah, the tube was really crowded and sweaty – total nightmare”
- A case of bronchitis means a sensible training plan is to reduce the session from 35km to a pitiful 17.5km (like today) – “I’ll catch up tomorrow. And rest the next day. Maybe”
- I used to plan a holiday then wonder if I could go on a run there. Now I organise a run and wonder if there’s a holiday I can attach to it. “Honey, you remember how you said you ALWAYS dreamed of going to Kabul?”
- Severe vomiting and hardly any food in two days will NOT stop me from running a marathon. “Nothing. Can. Destroy. Me. EVER. Muahaha. Apart from small microbes and dairy products”.
- The words fartlek, strava, vertical oscillation and iliotibial band all make absolute sense. “Great fartlek sesh on track tonight #strava – cadence up 10stps/min, vert osc down 6%, heart rate avg 165bpm, avg speed 3.25min/km, ground contact time avg 198ms, pointless statistics up 200%”
- I have a blog to ramble about my running life. “I have REAL friends too. I think”
Do you have a problem too? You probably do if you agree with more than, erm, two of the above.
As for my initial question, the answer is … of course not. I still hate Cross-Country. I can’t be that mad.