Tip from the top: how to get through the long winter runs?

It’s cold, windy, wet and you don’t want to go for a long pre-marathon run. Well, problem solved. Here’s what you need to do:

  1. Do a relatively short, hilly, one-way, 15km run. If possible, pickΒ a path which can only be retraced on foot (no bikes or cars) and try to do it a good 5 hours after you last ate. Β “It’s only 15km but it’ll count towards my training plan. I’ll feel great afterwards.
  2. Drop your credit card and driver’s licence at some point during the run. Be absolutely sure to not do anything during the run which might help you know where they fell. “ladidadidaaa, I’m looking forward to a cup of tea and lunch when I’m back.
  3. Get home and realise you’ve lost them. Decide that the sensible option is to retrace every step rather than accept they are lost. “I’ll definitely find them.
  4. Do another hilly, one-way, 15km run unsuccessfully looking for your items “Was I born without common sense or did I learn it over time? Also, I’m bloody hungry now. Without my lost ID, will anyone recognise my mummified corpse when they finally find me?
  5. Get home and feel like an idiot (and then call your credit card provider). “Shower. Food. Bed. Now.

Bugger.

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